I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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