What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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