you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
