so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
