Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
