I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
this hospital has no fireball
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
