If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
