I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
