You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
