he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
