"it" just moved
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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