Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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