I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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