i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I showed him my bush... on skype.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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