Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
