Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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