I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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