There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
