C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
