You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
