Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You are a genius and a whore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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