I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
COCAINE IS GR8
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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