omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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