there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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