Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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