Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Rumble strips road head = magical
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
