I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
