Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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