Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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