Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
