I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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