how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
