well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
