..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
