I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
