508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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