the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I party with great urgency now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
