When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
