The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
