chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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