I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
