Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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