I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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