i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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