I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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