grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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