I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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