dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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