we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
