It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
