worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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