Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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